Fact-checking Count Binface

Nigel Farage and Count Binface are in a two-horse race for the Clacton by-election. One is an intergalactic space warrior from the planet Sigma IX, and the other is trash. (Sorry, not sorry.)

One of Count Binface’s campaign promises is to move the hand dryer in the male toilet at the Crown and Treaty pub in Uxbridge to a more sensible position. As one of the rare individuals to sporadically find themselves in Uxbridge and given the high stakes of this election, fact-checking Binface’s claim is a high-impact opportunity that I can take on behalf of my readers. How else can we expect people to make well-informed decisions?

First, I can confirm that there is indeed a pub called Crown and Treaty in Uxbridge.

Second, I can confirm that the pub has a male toilet containing a hand-dryer.

Third, the hand-dryer is in a non-sensible position:

• If you use the right most urinal, you will make the hand-dryer go off while relieving yourself.

• If you need to use the hand-dryer on a busy day, you have to squeeze in between somebody washing their hands and somebody urinating. But at least the hand-dryer will already be on when you get there.

Thus, I can confirm the Count’s claim is true: that the dryer in the male toilet at the Crown and Treaty pub in Uxbridge is in need of moving to a more sensible position.